You take the bench and look over the court. A field of woodland animals and farm animals: squirrels, hogs, rabbits, horses, deer, cattle, and other critters once divided by the electric fence. All come together to see justice served.
You call the defendant to the stand. The Highland steer moseys up to the stand, assuming a special kind of dignity only a bovine can have.
Before the steer can testify, a shout rings across the court.